Snow White & The Huntsman

There is some major star power, to this movie's credit. However I am not sure why Chris Hemsworth, Charlize Theron, Bob Hoskins, Ian McShane (BlackBeard - Pirates 4), Eddie Marsan (Inspector Lestrade - Sherlock Homes), and Nick Frost (Sean of the Dead) would sign on to this movie... the script must have came across far differently than what these actors envisioned, because what you get is a dis-jointed story with almost zero dialogue, some figurative chest-beating, and an attempt to have a Brave Heart-like pep talk at the end - by a very zero dimensional Kristen "Twilight" Stewart.

If anything about this movie is enjoyable, then it would have to be Mr. Summer Blockbuster - Chris Hemsworth. He is the only person putting forth anything entertainment-worthy in this movie. He doesn't have a lot of dialogue, but when he does it's the only redeeming quality in this film.

Kristin Stewart has proven that she does not deserve another chance in Hollywood. I hear nothing but complaints about her wooden performances in Twilight and she doesn't even give you the pleasure of a performance in this movie... until the end, when it doesn't even fit with the character personality she portrays for 2 hours - out of a 2 hour 10 minutes, in this film.

I was so bored with her character in this movie I almost wanted to cheer when we get to the part where Snow white "dies" from eating the poison apple. I take it back, her best and most enjoyable performance is Snow White laying "lifeless" on a table and other characters mourn snow white's "passing." I was able to enjoy a pretty face, without her attempts at acting getting in the way. Actually, she never really acted... she just kind of literally ran around in this movie, a lot. She just keeps running from the bad guys, for nearly 90 minutes.

To Stewart's credit, I guess we have to blame to the script writer's for this poor excuse for entertainment, because the dialogue is terrible and boring. No one was really given much to say or give much in the way of any type of performance.

Moving on to the CG effects. The SFX for the bad guys looked and felt great. The appearance of the Dwarves and a trippy psychedelic fairy garden looked awful. The CG used for the good guys in this movie looked fake and you could tell when human counter parts were attempting to interact with CG. On top of the CG, the creators look like they tried to rip off Peter Jackson's look for dwarves, but the Huntsman creators made these dwarves look awful. I was annoyed with how bad these guys looked.

In summary - either spend your money on quality and see Avengers, again, or save your money for Pixar's Brave. I wouldn't even recommend waiting for your local Library to pick up this movie and watch it for free, because you'd still lose over 2 hours of your life that you would desperately want back. I give this 1/4 stars.

Real Steel (by Chuck)

In the near future, robot boxers have replaced humans - in order to satisfy the blood-lust of society, so the spectators have the over-the-top boxing matches that provide the type of action in the ring that any human counter part just can't physically provide.

Charlie Kenton - former pro boxer, that gave the #2 contender (for the world championship) a run for his money - has evolved with the sport of boxing and is fighting with any robots he can find, anywhere he can find them in hopes of making money to pay off debts and just keep his financial nose above water.

Charlie has his estranged 11 year old son (Max) suddenly dumped on him, after he finds out that Max's mother has suddenly passed on. Reluctantly he takes in Max, but is coerced by Max into letting him tag along on in the underground robot boxing circuit.

The Kenton's stumble upon a sparring bot that Charlie has no faith in, but Max believes that this new find "Atom" has something special and they quickly put Atom to work when they realize Atom can take a hit and dish it out too.

The element of a child really made this movie very far-fetched, as if the robots didn't already. What could have been a very good action-drama ended up being a kiddi-fied action-drama that might end up turning some off. (Max teaches "Atom" hip-hop dancing. This really bugged me.) For, instance allowing a child into an underground boxing circuit, where no parent or really any adult with true concern for the well-being of a child to go to... essentially a 21 and up, style bar-like environment.

Also, where Max initially finds Atom, he has claimed Atom as his own and in his 11 year old mind, he's entitled to call the shots... he's basically taken on the role of the manager and booking agent while his dad just backs down at Max's "evil eye" when Max's "authority" in the matter is challenged.

When I came to accept the utter ridiculousness of this reality, I decided to check my brain at the door and just enjoy a boxing movie, despite an 11 year was calling the shots. It's like accepting the fact that in a super hero movie you excuse physics and all reality in Captain America when Steve Rogers is given a syrum and imaginary radiation treatment to make him nearly 2 feet taller, and have insta-muscles, super strength and speed, despite the reality that it never could happen.

The MPAA would have given this movie a PG rating, but Max was scripted to have a head-strong personality that gives him the confidence to defy his father, make bets with bookies, up the anti on said bets and call the bluff of these bookies. With such a head strong personality comes a mouth that isn't afraid to use profanity, which is where a lot of the PG-13 rating is rooted in.

The MPAA also says the rating came from violence and intense action, but all the Rocky movies (except Rocky 5) got a PG. Charlie gets a beat down, in a night scene, from people he owes money to, so the darkness doesn't really give you a clear image as to how violent of a scene it is. The boxing matches clearly have more violence in them, but because Charlie's beat down is humans fighting, the realistic factor is probably what also contributed to the 13 rating and not the boxing matches.

I want to give this movie 3/4 stars, but things that detracted from the drama of the movie, like hip-hop dancing and Max's ridiculously overbearing personality are going to cause me to give this a 2.75/4 stars.

Another reason I can't justify 3/4 stars is because it is too much like Rocky 1 & 4. And because of that, I was really hoping for the drama that came from those 2 movies, but they took this movie in the direction of the relationship between father and son and let that be driving force behind the movie, and not the drama I was hoping to get that I got from the Rocky's.

The action is definitely there, but the Max character continually overshadows his father - that I wanted to care for - but he was too much of a wuss to put his foot down as his father and call the shots. It's a good movie, just a little too much Max.

Paul (by Chuck)

"Paul" is an alien movie where 2 friends are on vacation from the U.K. to see the San Diego Comic-con and visit UFO hotspots too, since they are close to Area 51 and Roswell, NM.

After Comic-Con and the Area 51 mail box they encounter a run away car that crashes and they find that it's an alien named Paul (voice by Seth Rogan), that speaks perfect English.

After they have overcome the shock of an actual extra-terrestrial is in their midst they quickly decide they want to help the alien go to its initial crash landing site in WY from 1947.

This plot has a lot of nice potential, however I really couldn't tell what the meat of the story was because ClearPlay muted most of the dialogue of the movie. This movie is just a tyraid of profanity and sexual context.

I wish I could say I enjoyed this movie, but since the dialogue was so chopped up, I really couldn't get what was being said. I got the overall basic concept of what was happening, but all of the humor was laced with muted content and the funny was just not there.

2/4 stars.

Collateral (by Chuck)

3/4 stars

Max the cab driver picks up Vincent the hitman. Vincent has 5 jobs to complete before the night is out. Unfortunately, for him, his first job is sloppy and involves Max the cab driver and the cab which start to slowly give Vincents position away to the authorities.

Max is then faced with (unwillingly) aiding a murderer or be killed himself. From this point on it's pretty heavily packed with action and shooty, lots of shooty - Vincent is after all an assassin.


The ClearPlay experience
I often times watch my movies with captions - after everyone has gone to bed, so as to be able to know what is being said without making it too loud for those sleeping, which is how (if you've read previous posts of mine) that I know when language is muted or skipped entirely, if there is language at all.

Collateral has the typical R-rated language, with heavy amounts emphasis on the F-bomb.

And an assassin movie really can't be such without guns and lots of shooting.


Collateral is Rated R for Violence and Language and has a common sense rating of a heavy PG-13, since all instances of swearing were wiped out nicely and a lot of the violence was fairly blood-free which means that the shooting was more on the PG-13 side.

However there is a lot of shooting and such an excess is considered to be pretty hard for younger viewers to watch, which is where it earns it's R rating from, in an unfiltered state. (e.g. Matrix [rated -R], is fairly, if not entirely blood-free, but the amount of shooting is extremely excessive.)
A lot of the shooting was kept in, mainly because it's Vincent's method to move things out of his way (windows, walls, etc) and the movie would feel rather disjointed if a clean office building was all of the sudden torn to shreds, if you didn't know Vincents turned the place in to Swiss Cheese. So, on that note even with swearing eliminated entirely, a lot of the violence had to stay in, for continuity sake.

Captain America: The First Avenger (Reviewed by Chuck)

4/4 Stars


If you have not read the comics or do not know anything about Captain America or even know there is a Captain America, and do not want to be spoiled on any level, stop reading now!


Steve Rogers, a scrawny young man from Brooklyn with a laundry list of physical ailments yearns to serve his country, as a man with nothing to lose as he is an orphan - He actually has a family, this is simply deviation from the comics that they couldn't afford to spend time.

After 5 failed (4 of which were illegal) attempts to enlist in the service, Rogers is complaining to a friend that now one will give him a chance. This is overheard by a scientist spearheading a secret super soldier program from the government.

Rogers is chosen to be the gineua pig for the program, because if his pure-blooded desire to serve his country, which is seen in his determination to not give up in his excersizes in basic training. He also passes a test of courage that everyone fails, except Rogers (who passes with flying colors) because he truly is an un-selish guy that is not afraid to stand up to the bullies of the world since he has been bullied and beaten up his whole life.

This undying patriotism of Rogers and his desire to stand up to the bullies of the world, is what drives this character and you feel it throughout the movie.


Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, the Nazi's are up to no good... again. Hitler has an R&D division called Hydra that is building exprimental weapons (that have a tie in to Thor, so if you haven't seen Thor you might be scratching your head at the end of the movie) that disintigrate the victim, or anything for that matter. They are just about to unleash this terror on the world when they learn about Captain America and see him as their ultimate threat that will shut down hydra and their chances for winning the war.


This is definitely a PG-13 movie that is not appropriate for younger audiences and maybe not even be appropriate for 13-16 year olds (depending on the maturity level of your teen.) On top of the type of weapons, this is a very shooty movie... lots of gun use in the one. We even have a somewhat gory moment of an expandable Hyrda soldier and a propeller blade of a moving plane. We have very little swearing and no sex, at all.